This is a guest post for Startup Roots by Larry Chiang, our first guest speaker. 

Larry Chiang is an 

instructional humorist and has self-reported IQ of about 88. What he lacks in academic prowess, he more than makes up for in work fortitude and conference hustle. He is not yet a Jedi but has instincts stronger than Luke Skywalker when it comes to identifying rising entrepreneurial talent at a tech conference afterparty. Read this and make the force be with you too. After an HBS event, they wrote: What They Don’t Teach You at Stanford Business School. After a Stanford BASES keynote and SWIB panel, he allowed the audience to pose questions via text message.  He revealed “What They STILL Don’t Teach You at Stanford GSB About Public Speaking.”

by Larry Chiang

I love the topic of mentorship.

There is no better time to get mentored than when you're a college student. Even retards from Pepperoni Community College can get face to face time with a VC just by mentioning the words "college student" and 'internship' together in a sentence.

Here are 10 events that cost $50 for interns this summer to attend -- yes, that even includes 10 dinners. Using my over developed powers of long division, that comes out to a whopping $5 per. Here are the events: http://startuproots.eventbrite.com/

Here are three tips for getting the most out of Silicon Valley's best of the best minds listed here

-1- Pre-Read Before You Go

Interns need to know who they are listening to before they go. Remember, if you're least qualified, you better be most prepared. I am making that into my own theorem.

Do not let the FREE food, packed house and experts heaping on audience accolades fool you... If you want better results, read about who the effen keynote is. REMEMBER: Being better prepared makes you look better than not being prepared.

-2- Prep a Question

Every person who speaks has something published on their passion topic.

Leverage this.

For example, if Robert Scoble is presenting, know that he loves shiny new tech toys so ask him about stuff he likes. Another example is one of the VCs on my panel... VCs love money and squeezing founders for equity. I'd leverage this (pun intented) and ask them about their sexy exits (aka times they sold a company for big bucks) Let them brag about how smart they were in the 80s and 90s and they will love you long time. By the way, that phrase is trademarked Larry Chiang incorporated. Not to be re-used, reiterated, rebroadcast, retweeted without express written authorization of Larry Chi-ang incorporated (JK, you can steal anything I write- I don't copyright any of my stuff)

-3- Promote Your Employer

Lets say the company that gave you an internship is chock full of lazy, unprofessional founders that don't work and don't appreciate you... You promote that employer anyway.

For example, lets say you work for Dan Martell of Flowtown. You say, "So I am getting mentored this summer by Dan Martell, founder of Flowtown, and he recommends I learn Ruby but also biz dev. What are your thoughts of combining both tech and biz skills?"

I have a bunch more tips that I will give you for free if you come find me at these events. Sure I saved the best for last and if you effen can't wait, text message me your email: 650-283-8008, and I will send them

I wrote this in 30 minutes. If I missed something, email me… larry @larrychiang dot com and include your cell in the subject line.

DISCLOSURE: I kick a lot of butt. Text or call me during office hours 11:11am or 11:11pm PST +/-11 minutes on my cell: 650-283-8008.

Larry Chiang is the founder of Duck9 , which educates college students on how to establish and maintain a FICO score over 750. He is a frequent contributor to BusinessWeek. His earlier posts on GigaOm include: How to Work The Room ; 8 Tips On How to Get Mentored ; and 9 VCs You’re Gonna Want To Avoid . You can read more equally funny, but non-founder-focused-lessons on Larry’s Amazon blog .